Whatever happened to the good cartoons? I mean, really!! Why do they have to be informative, educational, and safe? I survived the cartoonish violence of Yo-Samity Sam and Elmer Fudd blowing the pants off of all God’s creatures, and am relatively well adjusted in spite of it all. I dare say I even learned a few things as well. Such as:
1) When trying to catch a rabbit, mouse, bird, or any such varmint – never buy anything from ACME. As neat as it looks, it simply won’t work.
2) The “duck-season, rabbit-season, duck-season” confusion tactic only works between one four year old and another. (I’ve tried it on my kids, and they don’t get it – philistines).
3) The French stink, but their good with the women. (ala Pepe Le Pew)
4) Given the right amount of postage, you can ship yourself anywhere in the world and get there within seconds.
5) Never, I repeat, Never, take that shortcut in Albuquerque!
6) Sticking your finger in the barrel of a shotgun when fired will cause the gun to backfire, and therefore ensure your complete safety. (I’ve not tested this one – yet).
7) Dressing in women’s clothing might get you out of one mess, but it will only cause more problems down the road.
8) Pounding your fork and spoon on the table, yelling “Where’s my hossenpheffer?” will get an immediate response from your wife (although perhaps not the one you would like).
Instead, today we watched “Caillou,” which is apparently a show designed to teach our children that given enough whining and crying your parents will give you anything. I’d rather listen to a dripping faucet. Shows like this will keep Ambien from ever being profitable.
Perhaps the show did reach its intended goal. My two year old asked to turn off the TV so we could go outside and play. I guess that tells you what he thought of it. But I guarantee had the “Bugs and Tweety” show been on… ah, paradise!